October 2014, Month in Pics

Haven't posted a damn thing on this blog, but not because I've been sitting on my a$$!

So many things happened this month.

Our vacation to Punta Cana.... of course I took A LOT of pics.

Pumpkin Patching and Vampire Children....

 

Pumpkin Carving and Halloween.  This was the year of the SPIDER!

And oh yes, how could I forget, my other babies; my nails, which finally grew too long for me.  




And Tater spent the month building fat reserves for the winter, building Legos and custom kitchen cabinets, and celebrating the Giants World Series win!  Go Giants!

Good bye October!

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

August 2014 Month in Pics

Yet another month has gone by and no posts.  I'm really disappointed in myself.  Missing out on documenting my children's childhood here.  Luckily - it's only here in the blogsphere.  We've actually been quite active LIVING, so I guess that's good, right? Lots of rides this month & my nails.... man- I love my natural nails lately.

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)
Check us out on Instagram @simplyshirley08

Let it be known, 4.25 Years later

When I was a University student, I was enjoying my single, bachelorette life but there was always a nagging desire to find "the one".  I never verbally let on to any of my single friends that there was something more that I truly longed for, but there was.  One day while on a lunch break, I sat in the cafeteria with my friend Sandra and her classmate Joe.  I don't know what I was on, but I blurted out that 'I just wanted to be in love and in a steady relationship'.

"HA!" Joe laughed in my face.  (He was apparently trying to play things cool in front of Sandra; we both knew he had a thing for her.)

I don't remember how I reacted to Joe.  It didn't even matter.  It was just the fact that I let it out.  I let it be known.

And a few weeks later I was introduced to my future Hubby.  That was the kicker!  Coincidence?

So now of course after my previous post where I let it all out, with my sad, tiny violin story about how all I wanted was to have a nice family day at the beach without incident:  you guessed it!  I got it!!!!!

What an abrupt change!  I was at my wit's end when I wrote that last post.  I didn't see things changing anytime soon.  I had given up.

So this weekend, we took Qori to the beach since he loves to swim.  I didn't even try to suggest that Diego take off his shoes or go into the water.  He stood there watching Qori and his brother wade in the water.

And early on he turned to me and said, "Mama, I want to try it out.  I'm not shy."

I said, "What -- you want to go in the water?!"

"Yes," he said calmly.

I was skeptical.  Even as I was removing his shoes, I kept saying, "If you don't like it, don't worry.  You don't have to go in the water.  I'll just put your shoes back on."

His bare feet touched the sand first, which worried me because he couldn't even touch sand with his hands when he was younger, let alone with his feet.  This critical moment and his reaction would set the mood for the rest of our evening.

......And after 4.25 years of me waiting for him to get over his sand and water phobia and not go into a tantrum distress at the beach, he walked over to the small lagoon and put one foot in.........

.................and I got my wish! 

For hours......

There were no tantrums.  It was just a tranquil day at the beach filled with smiles.  And on the way home, they fell asleep -- just like I described in my wish.  Everything was just, tranquil.  To any other person, this is just another day, but you don't understand, to me it's a miracle!  It's a culmination after 4.25 years of NEVER being able to just have a nice family day at the beach.  I was so happy for those hours.  I felt complete.  I've been re-invigorated on motherhood (still not having another baby though!!!!)

So now, I'd just like to let it be known that all I want in life is to win the lottery jackpot ;)

Hey, it's worth a shot!

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Breakthrough

After writing that last post, I've been trying to handle things differently both mentally and physically with Diego.  I'm yelling at him less and trying to make those piercing shrieks of anger slide off my back.  And when things are good, I make sure to show him more affection and tell him that I love him.

This past weekend, we had what I considered a breakthrough.  It was Sunday morning and the boys began fighting over the Wii as they always do (Pictured above is how they "hate" on each other when each is playing on the Wii).  After Diego played his round, I held my ground and announced that it was Mateo's turn to play on the Wii.  Diego started into a tantrum, which I ignored.  His tantrum was beginning to escalate.

Just then I heard a knock on the door.  This will have been the third! time that my brother inlaw has shown up to our house on our family Sunday unannounced within the last couple of months.  I was so annoyed with him, yet graciously welcomed him and now his 9 year old son, Andrew into our home.

The problem was that Diego was still in full-on tantrum mode....

He was mad at his brother for taking the Wii, he was mad at his cousin Andrew because Mateo then let Andrew play with the Wii, he was mad at the world.  He went into our master bedroom and slammed the door with the force of an adult.  He came out with pillows and started throwing them in his brother's and cousin's direction while they played.  I intervened, but minimally, keeping my assertive tone and yet calm voice.  Especially after my last experience with my brother inlaw as summarized in my recent FaceBook post:

I just kept washing dishes in the kitchen and telling Diego not to throw things at his brother and cousin.  I tried to let things slide off my back, I didn't get mad; only stern, and I went about my business.  Diego was no longer screaming but was walking around with a pissed-off face and a look that said, "I'm trying to think of something bad to do."

After about 30 minutes, Diego came to me in the kitchen and out of left field said,

"I'm sorry, Mama!"

At first I didn't even know why he was apologizing to me.  It's not like he threw pillows at me!  I honestly could not believe that those words had so sweetly and kindly come out of his mouth!  I wasn't even looking, expecting, or thought that I deserved an apology!  10 minutes later Diego and answer were swapping their Wiis and Nintendo DS's and playing different levels of Mario Bros.

Later that day, after his cousin left and we played in the backyard, Diego started reflecting on his day.


"Mama, I was a bad boy, but then I turned into a GOOD boy!" he said.

Yes, Diego.  You turned into a good boy.

And I turned into mush.

What a breakthrough!

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Burning a Hole

I fell in love with a work-aholic.  It was his amazing devotion and will-power that impressed me (aside from his good looks).  Now the same things that peeked my interest in the dating years, are translating into daily annoyances ('cept for the good looks part).  He is devoted to his work and family.  I'm not an idiot - I know that if you love your family you need to work to support them, but the Hubs takes this idea to extremes sometimes.

He works so hard that by the time he gets home most days, his only job is burning a hole in the couch.  He lays there, feet up - and it gets under my skin.  I work too, then I pick up the kids, then I come home and start cooking dinner while the kids are screaming, then hubs calls me to ask me if dinner will be ready in 10 minutes (really?  I mean, REALLY?), then he comes home and burns a hole in the couch.

Listen here.  The couch is lulling me too!  I try to give in to it often and sit my ass in it.  But then (and there's always a "But then")  you can choose any of the following:

• Mateo comes over for the 53rd time and grabs my hand crying and leads me to the kitchen,
• Diego asks for demands milk,
• the timer goes off and I need to get up and turn off the stove,
• Qori is standing in front of the sliding door wanting to come in and I'm the ONLY one in the universe with the ability to slide open a door. 

All this while he lays there on the couch watching TV and simultaneously on his iPad without even flinching.

I calm myself down.  I tell myself: "He's been physically working - you've been sitting at a desk all day." Then I imagine how tough single moms would have it, and decide that I don't have it worse, so I should stop bitching.

And you know what?  It took him some time, but Hubs figured it out.  Says he's been working too much lately and we need some family time, so we use our Family Sunday to go boating in a reservoir.  And while I'm watching the kids on the boat, I see this:

Now I have two.  They're both burning a hole in the boat!  We're gonna fuckin' sink....  like my morale.

But we don't sink.  And you know why?  Because I fell in love with this man.  And I'm still in love with this man.  He could be on the couch, but he's not.  He brought us here.  And later on he redeemed himself with a simple unspoken gesture.  I reviewed the photos in my camera and found that he had stopped burning a hole through the boat enough for a few seconds to capture pictures of this Mama and her Ruffians "in the moment".  I love those types of pictures, and he rarely takes them if at all.  The Hubs behind the camera was paying attention...  

I think we'll stay afloat :)   - Shirley

 

 

The Second One

We don't really get to hang out just you and me.

As the second one, your time is always shared with your older brother.  It's awesome to see you two bond (but not so awesome when you guys fight).  And you always try to stake your claim to me.  When you've had enough of your brother, you come seeking my hand and usually guide me towards the refrigerator (Of course you do, Tater).  And when your older brother asks me for a "hug"; well -man - that pisses you off and you let everybody know it! 

You hate snuggling with me, but you always need to make sure I'm within arm's distance (it amazes me how similar you are to the dog - I gets NO snuggle time from anyone!).  You get your diapers in a bunch when it's your brother's turn to play human airplane as I launch him in the air with my feet.  If you could speak I'm sure you'd say, "Get the F off! This is my ride!"

But yesterday you got some unprecedented and precious alone time with Mama.  Your dad and brother went to a far off land for a few hours that required a bridge to be crossed.  That left just the two of us home alone (well, maybe the dog was there too, shredding brown paper).

What to do with this special 1:1 Tater-time?  I decided to keep the TV off and we took a bath (I was fully immersed in my swimsuit since you've suddenly joined your brother in his hatred of baths).  We played, you continuously threw water on me with a cup.  When bath time was over, we watched a couple of Youtube videos of babies doing their thing on my Iphone, and you were enthralled.  We read books, your favorite ones have fish in them.

And we played human helicopter

with no waiting in line!

It was a pretty fun pre-bedtime experience!

We should do it again sometime.

Have your people, call my people ;)  - Shirley