New Family Pets & Basking Buddy

There's no question I'm a dog lover.  And since Qori's passing I knew I was going to get another dog eventually.  However, I wanted to "ease" into it by getting something small.  I flirted with a guinea pig for awhile.

My people eat them, you know?  What would happen if our pet went missing after a family party?!!!  I kid, I kid. We're Americanized.  ;)

Ultimately, I didn't think I could bond with anything other than a dog, and even flirted with a small dog, like a Chihuahua, but I'm not Paris Hilton my Aunt.  If I were going to get a dog, it's go big or go home!  I'm just not a small dog kinda girl anymore, though they sure are cuties.

So I decided that my indecisiveness is a sign that I'm still not ready, so I curbed my dog plans for a short while.  Instead, we decided to ask our kids what pets they wanted.  Imagine that!?  Diego (4 y/o) was very clear; he wanted a turtle.

Mateo (2 y/o) on the other hand was leaning towards a chicken or pet bird.  After a few weeks of getting the same, consistent answer from Diego, we went to Chinatown and came home with 2 turtles: Leonardo and Donatello. 

Both boys are very happy with their pet turtles.  Diego is nervous to hold his turtle, which is good because Leonardo is skittish.  Mateo on the other hand is very 'hands-on' with is turtle, to which we fear his turtle's safety sometimes.  It's a good thing his turtle is more active, and not skittish like Diego's turtle.  I guess each turtle was meant for each boy!

So these past weeks, I've watched every youtube video ever made about Red Eared Slider turtles and how to set up their tank; it's become my obsession.  Hubby says I'm taking things too far, but I'm just an animal lover who also happens to be obsessed with interior design (terrarium tanks included).

I realized that the store clerk in Chinatown did not give us all the facts.  So one by one, I've been buying all the necessities for Leo and Don.  I'll probably post pics once I get a few more things.  One thing I recently learned is that turtles require UVB lamps.  Their terrarium should not be placed in direct sunlight due to flucuating temperatures.

So while waiting for the UVB lamp to come in, I decided to share, with the turtle boys, my favorite part of the house this weekend: my deck. For some much needed and natural UVB-love.  I love to bask out there on a hot day, its way better than any spa, in my opinion.

That's when I realized that my spirit animal is probably a turtle, and I may or may not have bonded with Donatello over the weekend.

My new basking buddy and me, having our moment, he's the only one who understands me...

Mama Turtle Ruff - Shirley

35 Years Old and NOT! Pregnant

Today, I'm 35 years old.  Just 5 years ago on this day, I was pregnant with my first child at 30 years old.  Look at my goofy face at 30, not knowing all the sh!t that was in store for me.  How that little bun baking in the oven was about tip my world upside down and then rip it apart.  I had no idea how motherhood would enable me to see through the walls of Hell and send me back shivering with regret while I would revert back deep to my introverted shell where extended friends and family would barely see me for almost three years, while I tried to hide figure out this thing called motherhood.

And even through all the moments of utter chaos where I could barely hold on to my own sanity, where I could barely hang on before I burst into tears due to the jealousy that ensued over everyone else's calm babies --  and all I wanted to do was to Fast Forward 18 years and take a nap, somehow I broke out into full-on madness and decided to get pregnant AGAIN! 2 years later.  At 32, I was pregnant again.  We all do crazy things.  32 yrs --- that was my craziest year.

I'm happy to say that at 35 I am NOT crazy nor pregnant, and planning to keep it that way for the rest of my birthdays.  Every day gets a little easier with the Ruffians.  Hell - we can even go to restaurants now and we seem semi-civilized (although I'm still traumatized and my nerves start up whenever Hubs says, "Let's go out to eat!" ------> shudder & chills.)  Things are still not perfect, and they probably never will be. I'm OK with that... anything is better than the Hell I've seen.

I'm still not at the point where I would say, "I'd do it all again, if I had to." Because although I love my ruffians so much, at this time, I still wouldn't do it all again.  I'm the person who announced, "I will never drink again!" And actually didn't! 

And my mind still occasionally wanders into my deeply introverted and anti-social thoughts where I'm convinced that society somehow tricked me into thinking that having children ---and buying a house--- was a good idea.  I sit here today with two kids and two houses.  It's a lot of stress!  And apparently I handle stress very poorly.

Then again I tell myself of course it's a good idea, Shirley!  You're just suffering with the not-knowing-what-you've-got-until-it's-gone syndrome.  And I can only back this theory up by the pit in my stomach and feeling of overwhelming sadness I feel when Hubs says, "Let's go out to eat!  and leave the boys with your parents!"  Leave my babies?!  Why don't we just order in, instead?

So today I'm 35, and it has been my first birthday in 5 years that I didn't really need or desire a nap.  Look at my face at 35, it's been through Hell and back, but I feel like I'm looking at a refined 35 yr old who almost knows her stuff now vs. the goofy 30 yr old that I was. 

So as I blew out my candles this year, I didn't have any particular wish in mind.

Because I already got what I wanted.  I got out of Hell and that stress level is almost gone, and out of those ashes I now have two little Ruffians that although still drive me crazy, they're beginning to make me laugh more. And to me, life is about laughter......

........ and long, natural nails :)  --  I finally got that this year too!

Damn, I've come a long way.

Shirley (mama-ruff)

Ugly Flamingos

A sudden bravery fueled by laziness took over me as I called and called and CALLED a certain Filipino restaurant to place a dinner order for pickup.  No one answered.  They NEVER answer, and each time that I physically reach the restaurant, I find the woman on the phone speaking Tagalog, probably on an extended overseas call that HAS to occur every Thursday: my only "get of jail the kitchen" day.

So I was mad at the restaurant, but Hubs insisted on Tapsilog and I insisted that there was no way I was going to cook.  So I thought, 'You asked for it, Filipino restaurant.  Now I will place my order when I physically get there.................. with my Ruffians.  And I'll stand back and let them unleash their wrath among your restaurant and patrons.  And if you even so much as give me a stink eye, the only thing I'll respond with is:  "Next time, pick up your phone....."

But when I got there, Chatty-Kathy of Manila wasn't there.  Instead a subdued woman was in her place.  It was sort of calm and peaceful.  Did they even have a phone now?  Did they silence the ringer?

So I sat the boys at a table and tried to keep the boys entertained as we waited for the food.

So, how was your day?  What did you do with Abu? I asked.

"Mama-Mam-mam, we went to the store and made Abu crazy and Mateo kicked Abu and Mateo was crying and Abu said [------ deep breath and pause]  No toys for Mateo!"
[distracted] "Mama-mam-mam look at that!" he yelled in his high pitch a few decibels too high for the restaurants atmosphere.  He was pointing at three paintings on the wall.  One with lucky fish, one with horses, and the last one with blue heron birds.

"It's a FISH!" he shreiked!  "And HORSES!!" he marveled.

"And what's that last one?" I asked, expecting him to say it was a bird.

Instead, very matter-of-factly he said, "It's an ugly flamingo."

I cracked up very stunned by his response.  He was so proud that he had made me laugh that he kept saying "Ugly Flamingo" all the way home.

Sure it was funny, but I was also a little saddened at that moment.  A little of his innocence was gone in his ability to discern between beauty and ugliness.  For me beauty is a mature concept. It's a sign that he's growing up now that he's calling things ugly.  And it will be up to me to instill the concept that it's not nice to call people ugly.  I hope it's not a hard concept for me to instill.

But for now, he's got a point.  Compared to flamingos, blue herons are pretty damn ugly!

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

I Don't Want to Go to the Pool Party :(

I prepped for weeks for the first family pool party that we were invited to.  In my mind it would most likely go very bad with Diego's water-phobia, or - with preparation - it could go OK.

My method was to tell him about the pool party well in advance so that he would be mentally prepared when we got there and not go into anaphylactic shock in front of family members.  I'd say, "Hey, Diego.  Guess what?  We're going to a pool party next week!  What do you think about that?!"

"I want to go the pool party!" he surprisingly responded.

"But you won't be scared, right?  Because you are a big boy and the pool is fun, right?"

"Yes" he said with a smile on his face.

So with this good forecast, I went to the store and bought water guns, arm floaties, and debated buying a big blue shark floater.  I wanted to be prepared should he truly decide that the pool was fun.

Unfortunately the day of the party, he woke up in a foul mood and only wanted one thing:  To go to Toys R Us and buy toys.

" I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE POOL PARTY!" he screamed.  Just my luck, I thought to myself.  Of course today of all days, he doesn't give a sh!t about the pool.

We had obligations, so we went to the pool party despite Dictator Diego's wishes.  There were other kids in the pool when we got there, so Diego was willing to put only his feet in at first.

"Hey Diego," I said.  " I have a surprise for you!"  And I pulled out the big ASS blue shark.

His eyes widened.  "I want to ride it!" he said.  "But you hold me and keep me safe. OK Mama?"

Best $10 investment, EVER!

And I gave him pony shark rides in the pool for about 20 minutes.  He had a blast and decided to graduate to actually going in the pool.  He tried the arm floaties, but he sank down more than I expected.  ARM floaties suck!  They don't make them like they used to.  Fortunately, the floaties disappointment did not deter his new-found adventurous spirit, and he tried his cousin's pink life vest, which was OK, but he took it off after 10 mins.  THEN...... he found his baby-cousin's hot-pink inflatable donut..... 

PERFECT!

And he spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool, he didn't even need me with him as  he went to the deep end in his cousin's donut.  He's come such a long way since these days.

 

A great family pool day indeed!

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

March 2014 - Month in Pics

I'm exhausted from March.  It started with a horrible time change!  (Daylight savings kills me as a working mom!  And it kills my sleeping logs in the morning too).






And the activities in between the rain:  parks, the zoo, hiking, searching for 4-leaf clovers on St. Paddy's Day, and restaurants where Tater tried oyster!



And of course, the Ruffians lived up to their names this month.  As in every past month.....



And Qori's health is doing well and he's with us all the time (rain or shine).



I couldn't hold my hubby at bay anymore, and we bought a Wii console for the kids.



And in between the madness, Hubs and I managed to spend some quality time together!



And I found out that I'm not the only Mama at my house after all!  Meet "Melinda" and her ruffians eggs!  How much you wanna bet those 2 eggs will be two hyper-active boys?

Welcome to the club...... Melinda.

I'll pray for you......

How was your March?

-Shirley (mama-ruff)
Instagram: Justshirley08

Life Lessons with Hung Elephants

A few minutes after this picture was taken, the elephant let out a few big sh!ts and then doused the floor with his pachyderm-piss.  Although the elephant's peenix was HUNG nearly touching the floor, and all the parents were looking away uncomfortably and talking about the weather - I thought this would be a GREAT time for some potty-training re-inforcement (since I'm delighted to announce that Diego has finally acknowledged that thing called a potty!)

"Look at that crazy elephant!" I yelled.  "He's going Pee-Pee and Caca!  Someone tell that crazy elephant that he needs to use the bathroom if he needs to go pee-pee and caca!  Right Diego?"

"Right!"

Reinforcement success.  Another win for mama!

The other parents at the zoo should have been glad that I helped re-inforce potty-training basics.  More-over they should thank their lucky stars I'm not at the "birds & the bees" stage where I'd need to teach Diego about elephants with ginormous peenixes.

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)


P.S. This was the first outing where Diego went caca in the toilet while we were out!  Was that TMI? Ok, that was too much.  I get it.....



 

Musings of a Little Man

I've likened Diego's running style to that of Captain Jack Sparrow.  It's spot on!  Yes, my son runs like a girl!!!

Although he is very much a boy with his dinosaurs, godzillas, and constant wrestling matches with his brother, he's occasionally shown me a more "feminine side" that surprises me everytime.

For example, he notices each time that I paint my nails in a different shade and will often comment and muse over the color.  On the contrary, I sometimes wonder if my husband is only able to see shades of gray.

And just the other night, I received a reward in the mail (after being recognized at work).  I had ordered a Michael Kors Paved Heart necklace with my rewards point.  I wore it all last night...... and Hubby barely blinked.

But Diego.......  Now you know he noticed!  As I pulled him out of his car seat this morning I noticed him eyeballing the shiny heart.  And he said, "Mama, you're wearing a small heart" and he clutched it in his hands and smiled.  Not only did he notice that I had a new piece of jewelry, but he also made the comparison to my other favorite piece of jewelry that I wear all the time......

....... my "Big" paved heart necklace.

Time will probably pass and one day he'll fall down the testosterone-filled rabbit hole and come out the other side running like Colin Kaepernick and color-blind like his father.  But it felt good at that moment, for my subtle jewelry statement to be noticed by my little man.

-Shirley (Mama Ruff)

Tater Tough Cheeks

Hubby commented the other day on how thick Tater's cheeks are compared to his brother's.

"They're at least two inches thick, and when you kiss him they're tough," he said.  He then followed up with "And Diego doesn't have any cheeks"

"That's because Mateo's always smiling," I responded.

His brother is kind of known for being a sour-puss.

-Shirley (Mama Ruff)

Doting and Driving

The ice in my veins thawed for about 5 seconds, and it was the oddest feeling that came over me.  I kept remembering the scene in "The Grinch" where Jim Carey's ass gets beaten as his heart starts to grow.  (I guess I'm not over the Christmas season just yet).

These two boys, Man.  I don't get them being boys most times.  I'm not a girly-girl, but I'm definitely not a tomboy either.  I have ZERO interest in sports, drinking beer, or fast cars.  But when I saw Diego shifting gears, in complete control of the mini-beemer we got him for Christmas.  And Tater, just barely turning two and turning tight corners in his Audi (I knew he wouldn't understand reversing, but I had no idea that he'd catch on to steering so quickly!).  Something came over me.  I think it was pride.  I'm not a doting mom at all, and it took a lot in me not to post a doting mom status update on FaceBook at that moment. 

'Really?!'  I thought to myself.  'Of all the things that could soften my heart with these Ruffians, it was watching them drive a car?!!!!!!!'  It didn't make sense at all.

I'm afraid this may mean there's a chance that I'll become the soccer mom I never thought I would be.  Or maybe I'll just drink a Corona, and call it a day.

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

You know you're a Mom When

You'd rather sleep through New Years.

A text between my outgoing, younger sister and I.  My sister is a first time Mom to a 3 month old.


Although the Ruffians and I stayed awake for the entire New Year festivities.  I was secretly (or maybe not so secretly) being seduced by my down comforter and pillow.

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Soon, he'll be driving that car!

OK, so it won't be THAT soon, but this little guy is making good progress growing up!

I don't want to compare my two sons, BUT....

Tater is making such great progress in the speech development department!  He's far ahead of his brother who was evaluated for speech therapy around this age (1 & 1/2) which caused me to write this little diddy feeling like a failed mama back in mid 2011. 

Don't get me wrong...  Tater can't jump for shit and still drinks from a bottle (both of which were milestones Diego easily made at his 1 year mark).  So it just goes to show that everyone is different.

I just wish I would have been able to have something to compare when I was going through Diego's speech therapy drama two years ago.  It may have been an easier pill to swallow when advised that Diego needed speech therapy back then.

Here is the latest in Tater-Talk:

1. Caca  (just like his brother before, he really loves this word)
2. More
3. Duck
4. No
5. Da (Yes)
6. Pop-up (balloon)
7. Yeah
8. Baba (bottle)
9. Mama
10. Dada
11. Brother
12. Mac
13. Book
14. Banana
15. Milk
16. More
17. Wow-wow (dog)
18. Turtle
19. Bubble
20. Ball
21. Papa (Food)
22. Baca (Tablet)
23. Hello
24. Fish
25. Sock
26. Shoe 
27. Snake
28. Co-Co, Co-Co (for Coca-Cola: meanwhile he brother calls it "Cola-Cola!")

At this rate, he'll be joining the ranks of his brother saying things like,

"Mama don't bother me" 

or 

"Mama, you're messing it up!"  in no time....

-Looking forward to it...  ;)     Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

1.5 yr/old!

Tater, you're 1 & 1/2 today!
 
The other day we had a late dinner at the Outback Steakhouse and our waitress asked me if she could get you anything to drink.  At first I said no since I brought your bottle filled with water, but after realizing the tantrum that might ensue after you saw that your brother got a kid-sized Coke and you didn't - well I changed my mind!

The waitress smiled and flirted with you a bit, and then she said, "I'm not there yet, my guy is still little."

I asked her how old her "guy" was and she said, "21 months."

I furrowed my brows and said, "Oh, then your little guy is older than mine!"  I pointed to you and said, "This guy's almost 18 months!"

She was caught off guard and said very slowly (as if she was still thinking if what she was about to say was rude or not), "Oh!  He's....... a............... really.............................big boy?"

I just laughed, and said, "Yes, he's huge!" Just like his older brother, he scores in the 90th percentile for just about everything that the doctors measure. 

At 1 & 1/2, you're a big man on campus, Tater!

Other Tater Tidbits

• You say over 20 words and use them consistently
• My favorite word that you say is "Turtle".  I bought you a Turtle cup with a swirly straw.  Whenever you see the cup you point to it and say, "Tuh-tul!  Tuh-tul!," and you don't stop until I pour you something to drink in it.
• You get cranky around 9-9:30pm.  That's when I tell you it's time to sleep and to kiss everyone good night AND YOU ACTUALLY DO IT with no complaints.  I never thought I'd have a kid who goes to bed willingly, but you do!
• You also have a favorite blankie and walk around holding on to it, like kids on TV do!  Once again, I never thought I'd have THAT kid!
• There was a brief moment where you started crying during bathtime like your brother, but then I started bathing you two separately and now you're back to being a fish!
• Although you don't wear me out the same as you did last year, you still seem to have a goal of getting me off the couch at 5 minute intervals, max.  
• You still love Qori so much but lately you've gotten into a hitting phase and sometimes you pull his fur.  I yell, "Don't mess with my Qori!" a lot these days.
• I joke that you're a rock-star and I can see you trashing your hotel room when your older.  When you get mad, you grab things and throw them like an angry rock-star.
• You pretend that you don't understand when I say one word - "No".  But you immediately stop what you're doing when I say six words:  "I'm going to take it away!"
• You have a deep, raspy voice.  Perfect for imitating horse sounds, as I've come to find out.  Spot on, Tater!
• You still have a very healthy appetite and you are willing to taste-test anything, it seems
• Sometimes, you can set your brother off by just staring at him or getting too close to him.  Some people might wonder what's wrong with your brother, but we KNOW YOU Tater: you sneaky devil!  The deeper the dimples, the sneakier the Tater!

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Family Benefit Concert

Over the weekend, my company threw its yearly benefit concert with surprise acts at AT&T Park (home of the SF Giants).  The lineup was great with Demi Lovato, Train, Pitbull, and Nickelback.

With two kids now, I couldn't really be all up in the crowd trying to get pics of the stars like I used to, so we stayed in a very nice grassy area and I focused my camera on the family instead.

It was a beautiful day in San Francisco...

PS.  My pic of the litter is the pic of Tater sitting on making it to third base ;)

Karma

Remember when Tater beat the shit out of my eyebrow, and I threatened him with Karma?

Well, let me tell you folks: that shit's real!

I mean it's practically on his eyebrow too! 

Only this was a little different.  Tater had an existing small scratch right on that spot.  On the way home from daycare my dad's house, my dad gave Tater a little green balloon to play with in the car.  On the way home, the balloon popped in the car and scared the shit out of me!  Then there was complete silence.  A few minutes later, DD told me that his brother's face was hurt.  I freaked out for a second, remembering I hadn't heard him stir after the balloon popped.

Oh my god!  Was he unconscious!!!!!?

I called to Tater at a red light to give me some sign of life!  He moved his hand.  I couldn't see his face since he's still rear-facing, but knowing he was responsive made me feel so much better.  When I got home, I was confronted with that big ass bloody spot!

No crying, screaming, or curling into the fetal position like his wimpy Mama did the other night.  No depression.  He was still happy go lucky Tater!

I could learn a few things from this little Tater Tot! - Shirley (Mama Ruff)

Gracias Linda!

Diego and I were in the car on our way to pick up some lunch while Dada-Ruff was working hard building our new TV monument stand.  It was a hot day so we both had our car windows down.  It was also the weekend so I wasn't looking half as haggard as usual, plus I had on my sunglasses which covered most my face.

The car in front of me decided to be a bottle-neck on the street and double-parked.  I had to scoot my car over to the side, to let the car in oncoming traffic pass by me.  It was tight, so I tried to scoot some more.  And then some more.

They finally passed by me, both our windows wide open on this beautiful hot day.  It was a car full of Latin young men.  The space between our cars was so tight that the driver was practically in my car.  As our windows paralleled, the driver said,

"Gracias linda" [Thank you, lovely] and they drove away.

I didn't have enough time to acknowledge.  Not a smile or a nod because they were already behind me, probably off to some beer-filled party or something.

I turned the corner, and Diego said,

"Mama, are those your fwends???"

"Huh?  What?  Oh!... yeah sure."

Those are my fwends.... - Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Mascara Face

Sometimes you I just give up as a Mama.  If he eats a little dirt, it won't hurt, right?  If he insists on drinking from an adult cup, what's the worse thing I'll have to clean up?  And if he finds my old tube of mascara that I should have just thrown away in the first place????

What would happen if I just let him?  I mean really.  What's the worst thing that could happen?

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Mother's Day

I hope all the mama's out there had a great Mother's Day!  I had a pretty good one.  I got a couple of things that I really wanted (or should I say, that I didn't want):

1. Not to cook, and 
2. Not to go to any restaurants where my Ruffians could raise Hell.  

Unfortunately my other wish to just sleep-in was squashed when Hubby woke me up by pulling my foot from under the covers so that I could spend the morning lazy-dazing on the couch with my pack of Ruffians watching some documentary about the dog-whisperer Cesar Milan's life.  He said he wanted to be either an actor or drug dealer as a child.  Those were his options.

Anyway, before I get too off on a tangeant about the dog whisperer, drug dealing, and him crossing the Mexican border; cuz I could talk about that for an hour!  I wanted to show you what my unemployed, youngest son gave me for mother's day.

That's right folks.  This big boy graduated to the big boy swing!  You GO Tater! It's true, the best gifts don't always have to be bought at a store [although I wouldn't say no to Nordstrom gift card!  ;) ]

What a great priceless gift!

What was your best gift? - Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Going to be an Auntie!

So not only am I going to be an Auntie-Ruff in October; I'm also going to have a niece! She'll probably be a ruffian too and run alongside my little pack.  Except her bandana will be pink...

Finally!  

A little estrogen balance.  And you know what.  I knew it all along.  Don't believe me?

Watch this week's vlog below. -Shirley (Auntie-Ruff)

Celebratory Dance

Yeah, I know, I know -  I haven't posted anything in a couple of weeks.  The good news is I completed a major project at work which dealt with iPads :)

Now that the project is done-zo, I will once again have pockets of time to "goof off" at work and work on blogging and editing videos instead of actually working!  Ha!

Speaking of editing videos, below is Tater doing his celebratory dance now that my iPad project is done!  I'm dancing inside too.  But Tater is much more graceful.... and sober - although the song lyrics suggest otherwise ;)

-Shirley

Chatty Little Old Men (Video Edition)

It's just so fun to see my ruffians growing into actual people with personalities.  They're like tiny little old men.  And lately they've both been chatty little old men. 

Check it.




-Shirley