Black Magic Eclipse

We visited my husband's carpenter for a project he was working on last night.  We needed to cross the bridge to get there and it was already 8pm.

"We're going to go see Martin" we told the boys.

"Martiiiiiiiiiin!" the kids gleefully cried.

Along the way I noticed the moon.  It was a large, low, and a faint orange.  I commented to Hubby that I heard there would be an eclipse tonight that would cause the moon to be orange. It would peak around midnight.  Neither of us could imagine staying up that late on a work night! 

Hubs and Martin finalized their business, and on the way out, Martin - joker that he is, played a prank on Diego.  He placed a gag prop on his finger to make it look like a nail had gone through his finger and he was bleeding.  Diego's reaction was that of pure concern.  So Martin turned around and removed the prop to show Diego that he was no longer bleeding.

"Ta-Da!"

It was magic, I told him.  He was happy and amazed. "Yeah, it was magic"

_____________________________________________________________________________

About 3:30 am. this morning I woke to hear Qori licking himself vigorously.  I had a feeling this was not good, so I jumped up and turned on the light.

Crime scene......

That's all I can say.

It still hurts my heart to think about last night.

I helped him clot the bleeding, I washed his fur so that he didn't look like a lion that had just made a kill,  I whispered that 'I was there for him' over and over and gave him lots of affection and caresses,

.......I cried.....

Out on the deck, I looked up at the sky in desperation.... I looked for the moon..... there was nothing.  The eclipse?  There was something so powerful about the moon, and so eerie that this crime scene happened on the same night.  A black magic.

I did a lousy job of cleaning up the crime scene.

After making sure that Qori was OK, I tried to fall back asleep around 5am.


Hours later when I woke, I felt a little better to see that no sequel crime scene had occurred.    But Diego woke up and immediately said, "Mommy, who made this mess?!"

"Qori was bleeding," I said.  "He's not feeling well."

Diego had that same look of pure concern.  (I felt so bad for referring to him as a demon in a previous post.  The kid has a heart and soul).  He thought about it for a few seconds and said,

"Qori needs magic!"

I fought back the tears and said, "Yes Diego.........  but I don't have any magic."

I don't have any magic....

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)

Leaving the Pack

At the beginning of this whole mess, the vet told me to look out for changes in your behavior.  You might get extra clingy, or you might distance yourself.  It's the pack mentality: if you no longer feel useful to the pack, you will start to prepare for your leave.

We had a scare on Friday that led us into the vet's office (here I was trying to skirt my responsibility by canceling Diego's weekly speech therapy, and my Friday still ended up stressful).  Although there was blood involved, the vet seemed optimistic citing your ability to eat, drink, poop, pee, breath clearly and clot blood.  I only felt a little better.

It's hard when the vet says it could be 3 days or 3 years.  And looking at the bump on your nose grow bigger each day, I feel that 3 years in just not realistic.  And what hurts more is that lately you've been asking to go out to the yard more often, and sometimes I catch you out on the deck just sitting there.... reflecting.

It hurts me to see that you'd rather be out there alone, than inside with me.  It makes me wonder if you're preparing to leave our little ruffian pack.  Is that it, Qori?  Or does the cool breeze just make you feel better?  I don't want to force you to come inside, so I let you take your time.  Take as much as you need.  But know that I feel so alone without you... and yet you're just on the other side of the sliding glass door.  I wish I could tell you that you're still useful to our pack.  That we (I) will need you until the bitter end.

And I know that you need me too.  I'm here for you Qori. 

The pack will stay together:  through good times and bad.....

-Shirley (Mama-Ruff)